A Midsummer's Day
by Doctor Mon
Summary: My first HDM fiction. Starts on Midsummers day when Lyra and Will are 15. Will have chapters added. Please R/R
1. It all begins

A Midsummer's Day  
  
Disclaimer - I do not own anything. Leave me be.  
  
  
  
Midsummer's day was always a painful day for Lyra. In the same why that she broke her mother, Will broke Lyra. Thier impossible love had dashed poor Lyra's heart on the rocks and it shattered as the Subtle Knife had shattered. It seemed that she lived day by day just waiting for that one day.  
  
She had tried going to Dame Hannah's boarding school but it didin't work out. She always seemed distracted and none of the other girls like her. The private Alethiometer lessons didn't work out either. She always got frustrated that the meanings didn't come to her. She had always had it easy but she just couldn't do it by knowledge and books. She kept on trying but it only made her feel worse. Pantalaimon had tried to comfort her and encourage her but he was making little headway. She would never be the same.  
  
So it is 11:30 on Midsummer's day and 15 yera old Lyra Belacqua is walking down the street towards the Botanical Gardens in Oxford with her Pine Marten Daemon on her sholder, softly sobbing.  
  
"C'mon Lyra! Pull yourself together! We are almost there and Will wouldn't want you like this, would he?" The Pine Marten said.  
  
"That's the problem, Pan! He is not here! Oh how I wish he was, but he en't. He never will be..." Lyra responded.  
  
Just then the reached the Botanical Gardens. The sound of water quietly lapping in the psuedo-pond greeted them. Lyra slowed her walk to a turtle pace and tried but failed to look like nothing was wrong with her. Pantalaimon jumped off her sholder and ran ahead to the bench.  
  
Lyra, sob-wracked and teary-eyed, failed to notice a stone lying in her path and fell with a grunt. People started to rush over. A scrap of sense took Lyra back to reality; All these people will soon she that she is not with a daemon. Lyra whispered for Pan to come back and he heard her, but too late. The first bystander, a girl about Lyra's age had reached her. She slowly tried to drag Lyra up from the ground and Lyra resisted. But this girl was much stronger. With a heave she dragged Lyra up. Then she stopped. She looked left and right, up and down. Her couger daemon uttered a small gasp, and the girl dropped Lyra. With a small, high- pitched squeal she backed away and then broke into a run out of the Gardens, with her Daemon close on her heels.  
  
Lyra yelled after the girl, "Wait! It's not what you see!"  
  
The other people then reached her. Lukily, Pan had scrambled back and jumped on he sholder just as the first, "Are you all right?"'s and, "What happened?"'s started to pour in. Lyra had enough wits back then to lie expertly to every question asked. After a time they backed away. It made Lyra fell a little better to know that through all her turmoil, she still had it in her  
  
"Oh, Pan. That girl saw me without you...What? What is it, Pan" Lyra whispered to Pantalaimon.  
  
"I hope I am wrong, Lyra. But I am pretty sure that couger was Hiraoth." Pan whispered back.  
  
"Hiraoth? But the only couger daemon named Hiraoth we know is..." Lyra asked with a confused tone in her voice. Her heart nearly stopped right there. She felt she couldn't breath.  
  
No! NO!!! It can't be!  
  
"...Susan Liaprer's Daemon." Pan finished.  
  
Susan Liaprer was one of Lyra's boarding mates in the school. She was a bully and liked to torment all the younger persons at the boarding school. She mostly left Lyra alone, and Lyra really never noticed her. But the scary thing was that she was in the same house as Lyra! Soon she would be at the school telling everyone that Lyra was strange.  
  
"No...Pan, it can't be! It has to be some other girl! Some other couger! Pan..."Lyra whimpered  
  
"We have to go and stop her. You know that..." Pan said anxiously  
  
"We can't Pan! Will! It is midsummers day! We made a promise and that is one promise I can't break!" Lyra near shouted.  
  
Some people started to take intrest in this conversation as Pantailamon saw. He flashed her a thought and even in her incresing pace of thoughts she knew what to do. in the same way Will had did, she made herself uninteresting. She casualy walked with Pan down the small path. Soon people lost intrest. They continued.  
  
"Will loves you, right?" Pan said. And nearly before he finished, Lyra jumped on top of him in a rage. She pinned so hard that not even he could escape her grasp. Lukily enough for him, he had expected this result and wasn't hurt.  
  
"Of coarse he loves me! He loves me with all his heart! And I love him too! Who do you think you are?" Lyra said between clenched teeth. She shook him and then let go of him and got up.  
  
"Then he would understand. He loves you Lyra and he will understand if you have to break that promise once for an important reason. You must know that. If you don't do something, then worse things may happen. You may even die. And what would that do for Will?" Pantalaimon said calmly.  
  
With her rage subsided, she felt empty. She had attacked her own daemon. She had tried to stop her own soul. She knew that was wrong. And she knew Pan was right. like always.  
  
"Oh, Pan. Please forgive me. I guess you are right." Lyra sobbed. "Please, Will. Please understand. I'm sorry..."  
  
Lyra cried a bit next to the tree. It is only 11:55. She slowly and reluctantly walks away. pan stays right next to her and is silent. They reach the threshold of the Garden. She hesitates and Pantalaimon whimpers and nuzzels her ankel.  
  
"This is it, Pan. Like all those other times, yet like none of them. I feel worse than when I left you and went to the world of the dead. It hurts so much...Will..." Lyra sobbed.  
  
"But you always made it through, Lyra. Always. And now won't be diffrent. We have to hurry, Lyra. They got a big headstart." Pan said.  
  
"Yes. We had better hurry. We en't going to lose now." Lya stated. Then she took off at a run with Pantalaimon right in back of her.  
  
---  
  
In a world too far away, a world too unbearably close. Will's world  
  
"I can't understand it. Something is wrong, Kirjava. I can feel it...They...they aren't there." Will said, trying to hold back tears and failing.  
  
Kirjava nuzzled his hand with her head and said nothing. If cats could cry, she would be with Will.  
  
"It must be improtant. Something is wrong. Lyra would never break her promise. Something is terrbily wrong...and we can't do a thing about it." Will half-cried.  
  
As the pair walked out of the garden, they could faintly see what looked like a ghost. It looked like...It looked like Lyra! But as Will rubbed his eyes, the faint image disappeared as quickly and mysteriously as it appeared. But will could swore he heard something. He got dizzy as he thought he heard Lyra's dear voice faintly whisper, "...and we en't going to lose now." 


	2. Life in a Nutshell

A Midsummer's Day - Life in a nutshell  
  
Chapter 2 of A Midsummer's Day  
  
Pantalaimon and Lyra snuck in the window of the dorm like they had done so many times. Even after she resolved to live at Jordan Collage, Lyra ended up spending alot of time staying at the School. As a result, they gave her a room with someone and she lived half in the school and half at Jordan. She loved Jordan but necesity kept her at the school most of the time.  
  
The first thing she noticed was that the room was dark and quiet. She knew that this room was never dark OR quiet. Her roomate, Candice, liked to spend most of her time in the room. Candice was also studying the Alethiometer. She was quite a few years older than Lyra and she had spent the 4 years in study compared to Lyra's meager 1 1/2 year personal study with Dame Hannah (She only spent half a year each year studying). Candice had a deep founded loathing for Lyra because in that small time, Lyra came to the same level all of Candice's time had taken. Yet she surpressed it and she was even Lyra's half-friend. A strange relationship. Any one that observed them would see that they acted nothing like friends.  
  
So with a dark and quiet room, Lyra became suspicious and at the same time scared. She still was hurt in her heart from missing and longing for will so much but years of that had taught her how to surpress that. At least on all the time but Midsummer's day. Yet the task at hand kept her busy from thinking and she was grateful for that. She crept along the wall and Pan went to the door and opened it a crack. He looked out for a moment then shut it.  
  
"No one out there that I could see...", He told her.  
  
"Good. Maybe she didn't come straight back here...I might still be...", Lyra said. But she was cut off by a loud thump from outside the door. It seemed to be coming from the main room.  
  
Lyra quietly opened the door again. She peeked out and she thought she saw some movement out in the main room. But it was too dark.  
  
"Maybe...maybe it's the scholars. But...why would they be in the dark?", Lyra thought out loud.  
  
"Not to mention there should be a confrence going on in the main school building...all them are over there.", Pantalaimon whispered.  
  
Suddenly, all the lights turned on. They even had the desired effect as Lyra tumbled out into the hall, Half-dazed. In a flash, a cougar was holding a Pine Merten in its jaws. Pantalaimon was fighting but all his struggles were just hurting him (and in turn Lyra) more. He knew that a poor little Pine Merten stood no chance against a cougar. Lyra was biting her lip from the pain of the teeth to Pan but her love for Will would end before she would admit that.  
  
"So the devil child comes home to saftey. Not on your life."  
  
"So it seems that she got home first." Lyra thought.  
  
Lyra risked a glance looking up. There she was in the flesh. The same exact person who, minutes ago, was running in terror from Lyra, was now smuggly looking down at the hurt Lyra. Lyra could barely hold down the rage.  
  
To think she actually helped me up...  
  
A small, pathetic squeak from pan brought her back to the moment.  
  
"Let go of my Pantalaimon.", Lyra said quietly.  
  
"Why should I? You don't have a daemon! That daemon is probably one you stole of of a kid you killed!", Susan spat.  
  
Lyra couldn't help but scoff. At that Susan trembeled visably in anger. The cougar bit down harder and let out a muffled growl while Pantalaimon squeked in pain. Lyra slowly stood up.  
  
"If that is all you have to say, I will be going.", Lyra said as she walked over to Pantalaimon. She knew that she only had one wya out of this and only one chance to do it. All she hoped for was that Susan was like everyone else. She reached down and tryed to pry the cougar's jaw open. It worked like a charm. Susan and her daemon were so taken aback that the cougar's jaw dropped in surprise. Pantalaimon, grimacing the same way Lyra was at touching someone else's daemon, still had the wits to nimbly escape the cougar and jump onto Lyra's sholder. Meanwhile, Susan's glare istantly turned to a gasp of horror.  
  
Lyra let go of Susan's daemon and, weakly smiling, turned and went back into the room. Once out of Susan's sight she quickly jumped through the window she had come into and shut it. She then walked over to the bushes and retched.  
  
"Quick thinking, Lyra. It had to be done.", Pan said, trying to comfort her.  
  
Lyra sat down and looked so hollow that even Pan had to stop comforting her. She meekly said, "Pan...what is happening. I am becoming just as horrible as those people at bolvangar. I feel so bad. Poor, Susan. I had to do it..."  
  
"Well it is over with for now. But we can't stay here tonight. Lets head back to Jordan...", Pan suggested  
  
---  
  
Meanwhile, Will was walking back to Dr. Malone's flat. Ever since he had gotten back those 3 odd years ago, he and his mother had been living with her. They had gotten he checked out by some doctors but none of them knew what was up. They just recomended that she stay with people she knew. After a while, she had improved somewhat but was still not perfect. She had gotten to be good friends with Mary though. Will spent as much time as he could with his mom and she always seemed in the best condition then. She was even starting to drive again (but Will always had to be in the car with her).  
  
So his life had been an ok one. That just made him feel worse. On midsummer's day when he sat with Lyra, right beside him yet a place too far away, he could all butr commune with Lyra. He felt her. And he could feel her anguish. She was having a really difficult time in her world where as Will's was ok. He felt sad that the usually strong Lyra was reduced to ashes of her former self. But his hapiness gave her strength. He longed for her badly yet he was able to cope.  
  
"Hey, Will. Your back a little early...", Mary said as he walked in. Will mummbled something and kept on past with Kirjava at his heels, silent. Mary knew that this day was extremely painful for him so she didn't pursue an answer.  
  
Will went into his room and closed the door. Kirjava jumped on the desk and he opened a drawer. He picked up a small pouch. He poured it over on his desk. Bits and pieces of the former Subtle Knife emptied on his desk.  
  
Will sighed, "Lyra...what is going on? I wish I could help..."  
  
The tip of the knife gleamed in the sunlight. Will fought off the urges to try and open a window. He knew that it would only make things worse...but the temptations were overwhelming. With another sigh, he put the pieces back into the bag and put it back in the drawer.  
  
Will put his head on his hands and said, "It hurts so much, Kirjava. She is gone. And she will be forever. There is no way I can fix that."  
  
"I know, Will, I know. But as long as you remeber her, she will always be with you.", Kirjava replied.  
  
---  
  
Lyra walked up to the front of Jordan Collage. Even though she had been to it hundreds of times, she still marveled at its beauty. This was her home and what a heck of a home it was. After a brief pause she continued up and into the collage. She slowly creeped up the hall to where her bedroom was. When she was about 13 steps from it, the master appeared from around the corner. Lyra quickly ducked into the shadows but he had already saw her.  
  
"Dear god, Lyra! Why are you here? Shouldn't you be at the school? It is the school year still, is it not?", The master sputtered.  
  
Lyra tried to think of something to say with her mouth half open. Any lie that she might have said escaped her in a flash. The Master almost always had that effect these days. This was because his health had been declining as he aged for the past 5 years. It hardly was appearent at first, way back even before the whole Lord Asriel and the wardrobe thing ever happened. But as time went on he began to have coughing fits every once and a while. Then they became so bad that he became almost paralyzed when the fits came. Then he started passing out. It was all too appearant that his time was almost up. Lyra didn't feel right lying to him.  
  
"Oh, Master! It's terrible! I can't go back to the school! One girl found out about how Pantalaimon can go away from me and she went back to the school and she's gonna tell everyone and they will get mad and hate me and hurt Pan and oh its so bad!", Lyra burst  
  
The Master replied, "Calm down, kiddo! So they found out what"  
  
So Lyra told him the one thing, the only thing she had kept secret from him. She wasn't least bit surprised to see that he was perfectly calm.  
  
"That is one strange prediciment, Lyra. But of corse you can stay here. You are always welcome.", the master replied calmly.  
  
Lyra felt cool relief pass over her and replied meekly, "Thanks, Master."  
  
Lyra walked into the room and watched the Master continue on down the hallway from the doorway untill he went around another corner. She then slwoly undressed and slid into bed. Pantalaimon curled up on the foot of her bed.  
  
Lyra yawned, "This was a horrible day, Pan. Everything went wrong except for the Master."  
  
"Yes, this day was bad. But I have an un-easy feeling about more than just today. I don't know if it is a good feeling or a bad feeling. But something is going to happen. But right now we need to sleep, Lyra. Just sleep and forget.", replied Pan.  
  
"But I know I'll dream about Will. I just know it. We let him down. I promise I'll never do that again.", Lyra said.  
  
But sleep slowly and subtly crept up on her. And she sled into an uneasy sleep. At the same time, Will was just going to bed.  
  
---  
  
Kirjava nudged Will and said, "Will. I feel something."  
  
Will reacted immediatly. He krept out of bed and to his desk. He opened a drawer and silently slid out the tip of the knife. It was still razor sharp and a great weapon. He held it up and turned around to face Kirjava. Then he felt it to. It was a strange presence. He then looked in the direction of the door. There stood a glimmering being. It was a male Angel.  
  
Will blurted out, "Baramos?"  
  
The angel shook his head. Will relized his mistake right away. This angel was a little taller and he shone a little more. But it was still obvious that he was relitively low ranking. Not to mention that Baramos had been gone ever since Will had seen him last. A few days after he had returned home from his adventure, Xaphania had come to him one last time while closing the portals to and from this world. She had told him that nobody knew where Baramos had went and it was presumed he was dead. Will grieved a little but not much.  
  
"No I am called Garforier. I am here with a message from Xaphania. But you look tired right now. You should just go to your bed and lie down.", the angel calmly said.  
  
Will felt extrmemely inclined to do so suddenly. He put the knife back and walked over to his bed. He laid down and felt extrmemely tired.  
  
"Rest now. I will tell you in the morning.", The angel said.  
  
That was enough for Will. The angel's voice seemed to have a hypnotic effect on him. He felt darkness closing in on him and soon was in a deep sleep. 


End file.
